I'm too Sexy: Beyblade Style
by An Angel Flying with broken wings
Summary: Raited for striping.
1. Chapter 1

"Whaddaya mean I'm too young for that kind of stuff!" Joseph struggled to get out of Ozuma's grip. "And since when did you start listening to Kai!"

"Listen, Joseph..." Ozuma sighed. "Compared to us, it's pretty obvious that you're still a kid to go drinking. You can't handle alcohol."

"I can too!" Joseph shouted.

"Yeah, right," Ray replied, snorting. "C'mon, Ozuma! Dispose of the kid and let's go. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Kai's right."

Kai grinned at the glaring Joseph.

"Lemme go!" Joseph screamed, hurtling small fistfuls to Ozuma.

Kai sighed. "Ozuma, we haven't got all night," he called. "The sake's all warmed up."

Ozuma dropped Joseph behind some bushes, all tied up. "Now, stay there."

"LEMME GOOOO—MPH!" Ozuma tied a large band around Joseph's mouth, making him squirm and make small noises.

"Ignore him," Kai told them, smirking, as Ozuma went back to the group, leaving Joseph a good five meters behind. "Now, shall we get down to business?"

Tala grinned and poured out the sake.

Meanwhile, Joseph had managed to get out of his gag...

Joseph glared at the others. It was five hours later, and the drinking party had not ceased. He was getting pretty tired. Just a few minutes ago, he had managed to get out of his bonds. Ozuma had been careful not to hurt his girlfriend's little brother, and had tied it loosely.

Joseph grinned to himself. "His weakness will be his downfall," he murmured to himself. "But it wasn't really Ozuma's fault. It was Kai's. He told Ozuma to get rid of me when Ozuma was hesitant." He glared at the drunken group, especially at the flushed face of Kai.

He fished a camera out of his pocket. The ever-polite Max had given it to him. He had been taking quite a lot of pictures, thanks to the film that Max also gave him. But he still had three more films to waste... and there was nothing nice happening...

Although Ray had knocked out the bottle of sake...

Joseph blinked as he listened to Kai brag...

"Yeah right." Tala snorted. "I don't believe it."

"I can sing, too," Kai bragged, his face flushed from too much sake. "I can sing like the birds!"

Ozuma gulped another bottle of alcohol before he answered. "I can sing better than you, while drunk for that matters," he told Kai.

"Kai can't even sing!" Tala put in.

Kai glared at them, then stood up. He stumbled, caught his balance, and pointed a finger at them. "I can prove that I'm a singer," he announced, his voice slurred.

"I believe you!" a small voice piped from behind the others.

Ozuma and the others whirled around to find an evilly grinning Joseph, holding...a...black box...hell, nobody cared what he was holding. They were too drunk to see clearly anyway. But Kai was grinning at him interestedly. "Good for you, have you heard me sing?"

"Yeah, in the bath," Joseph muttered under his breath, but he was still smiling sweetly. "But I don't believe you can only sing...I betcha you can dance, too!"

"JOSEPH!" the others looked shocked as Kai looked drunkenly pleased.

Kai bowed, or tried to, without falling to the ground.

"But I want you to show the others," Joseph went on. "And I can take pictures."

Ahh...what the hell...Kai grinned and nodded. "Yes...why don't you pick a song, Joseph?"

Joseph nodded eagerly. "I heard this American song called 'I'm Too Sexy', and I think it'll suit you fine."

Kai grinned. "Yes...I know the song...I can sing while I dance!"

Something was going on in Ray's mind. "Waitasec," he mumbled, "isn't that song..."

Joseph waved his hand impatiently. "Don't you want to see Kai sing and dance at the same time?" he asked eagerly.

The others looked doubtful. "Not while I value my life," Tala muttered under his breath, getting ready to cover his ears.

Joseph grinned to himself. This was going according to plan...he readied his camera.

"I'm reaaddyyyy..." Kai slurred.

Joseph began to clap his hands while the others went on drinking.

Kai got ready. Then, he began to sing in the best singing voice his drunken state can muster. "I'm too sexy for my shirt...too sexy for my shirt...so sexy, it hurts!" As if to prove his point, he took his shirt off.

The others whistled appreciatively and encouragingly while Kai began to snap pictures.

"I'm too sexy for my land, too sexy for my land; New York and Japan!" the performer spun around, wiggling his hips. "I'm too sexy for my city, too sexy for my city; Calcutta and Delhi!" He flung his arms wide and gave a dramatic arch of body.

"WOOHOO!" the others shouted, clapping.

"I can't believe it, but he's quite good...for someone who doesn't really sing that well," Ray added under his breath.

"I'm a model," Kai sang on, "you know what I mean, and I do my li'l turn on the catwalk...on the catwalk..." he swayed his hips once more, ignoring the small snapping sounds of Joseph taking pictures. "I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party; no way I'm disco dancing!" he removed his pants and waved them around his head, only wearing his underwear.

"I'm too sexy for my clothes, too sexy for my clothes; I'm gonna hit the road..." Kai took off what was left of his...er...clothes and began to dance around the fire, stark naked.

Joseph laughed to himself, still taking pictures.

"And I'm too sexy for this song!" Kai struck a pose with his head held high, bending on one knee, the fire complimenting his pale skin.

And with one final flash, Joseph snapped the picture, and the developed picture ran down to his open palm. He smiled smugly to himself and joined the others in their clapping.

"Ooohhh..." Kai groaned as the strange light hit his eyes. "Where the hell am I... YAAAAA-HHHHH!" he screamed, clutching the blanket around his body.

A nice smell wafted to his nose, and he turned to that place. Joseph was cooking something. "Good, I thought you'd never wake up!" he exclaimed.

"Is that breakfast!" Kai asked curiously.

Joseph shook his head, "No...it's lunch. You slept all the way. All of you." He gestured to the other men, snoring.

Kai leaned forward. "Umm... Joseph..." he cleared his throat. "Why don't I have any clothes on?"

Joseph stared at him hard, then burst out laughing. "You mean you don't remember at all!" he burst out, still in the fit of giggles.

Kai shook his head and wrapped the blanket around him as he started to collect his clothes. After that, he put them on while the rest of the men woke up with groans and serious hangovers. Ozuma immediately crawled over to Joseph, who dumped a plate in front of him.

"Even though you tied me up last night," the boy announced, "I'm willing to forgive you because you did something good for me last night...'specially you, Kai!"

Then, Ozuma gave out a low whistle that broke the silence. "He got you there, Kai!"

"WHAT?" Kai lunged him, grabbing the small papers Ozuma was holding. "WHAAAAATTT!" he bellowed.

Everyone gathered around Ozuma, and they either whistled or clapped appreciatively. "Hey, Kai," Ray stated, "You have a pretty nice body."

Kai glared at him. "Shuddup," he growled.

"And I have mooorre!" Joseph sang out. "So the next time you try tying me up, there's no use cause I have my secret weapon with me...and no one knows where it iiiiss..."

Kai glared at him. "Why you..."

Joseph grinned back at him. "Yes?" he asked innocently.

Silence. Then, Kai gave a sigh of resignation. "Fine, you win."

The others trudged back to clean the remains of the party the night before while Joseph cooked lunch, whistling "I'm Too Sexy".

"Hey, Kai," Tala teased, "I wonder if you sang that song—"

Kai gave him his most dangerous glare. "SHUT UP!"

Joseph grinned secretly to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!" Ray sang.

Instinctively, Tala grabbed Kai's arms, which were twitching to throw the hot water at the singing individual. "Yayaya!" Kai screamed, fighting Tala. "You can sing, but you can't hide! I'll get you, Cat boy!"

Ray just grinned and kept on singing.

It has been three weeks since the...incident...when Kai had stripped and Joseph had taken pictures. Joseph, after lunch the next day, had told them Kai INDEED sang the "I'm Too Sexy" song. Ever since, Ray had been hurling the song at him, and small comments, enough to make Kai's blood boil.

"Calm down, Kai!" Tala grunted as he held the flailing Kai, who was still screaming obscenities.

"CALM DOWN! He's been at it for three weeks I – AAAAGGH!" Kai screamed again as hot water poured on his head. Tala immediately jumped back.

"If this noise is all I get when I took those pictures, I wouldn't have done that," Joseph said grumpily.

Ozuma glanced down at his girlfriend's little brother. "Do you mean that?"

Joseph's face broke into a grin. "Nope." He began to prepare their breakfast.

"Hn." Kai stopped struggling, but he continued to send glares at Ray's direction. Ray just grinned back and took the plate Joseph handed him.

"I wish I was here to see it," Johnny said mournfully, taking his own plate.

"You WISH!" Kai yelled.

"Calm down, Kai," Ozuma told him, his voice a little slurred from his drinking session by himself the night before. "It was three weeks before."

"Yeah, but apparently no one forgot about it," the duel haired bluenette grumbled.

"I'm too sexy for my—"

"Ray, SHUT UP!"

Joseph glanced up when Kai strode to his direction, his face red. Behind him came the muffled voice of Ray, singing, "I'm too sexy for your party! Too sexy for your party!"

"Joseph, I swear, if it weren't you," Kai muttered as he sat down beside the boy.

Joseph grinned innocently. "I said I was sorry. Of course, you probably know I don't mean it, I was having too much fun at that time..." He laughed.

Kai made a face. "I'm okay with it now, I just want Ray to stop tormenting me. It's so humiliating." He curled up his knees angrily.

Joseph glanced at him. "Ooh...Kai's getting red! I wonder how Tyson will react when he sees those pictures..."

Kai turned redder. "Shut up. Tyson is a bladder I respect. If you show those to him, I'll literally KILL you. ARGH!" He covered his ears as Ray went on singing, telling Johnny and the others what Kai did. He blushed. If only there was only a way to get back at Ray...

He perked up. "Hey, Joseph!"

"Mm?" Joseph was fiddling with something black, something bigger than the camera he had used to picture Kai stripping.

"D'you think I can have the chance to get back at Ray? You know, we can do the same thing. Make him drunk, you picture him..." Kai's voice trailed off.

Joseph turned to him briefly. "Yeah...but who says you might not strip again?" He ducked from Kai's punch.

"I mean it," Kai confirmed. "I can pretend I'm drinking when I'm not. And then we ask him to demonstrate me... the...stripping part..." he blushed. "...and then, we make him sing a different song when he's drunk and...you know the rest." He waited breathlessly for Joseph's reply.

Joseph thought for a while, then grinned. "Yes! Let's do it! I love it!" He was excited now.

Kai was glad. "Good! Where did you hide your, what? Picture camera?"

Joseph grinned at him, returning to cleaning the mysterious large black component. "Who said we're going to use a picture camera?"

"But...I..." Kai saw his plan fade right before his eyes. He never felt so disappointed in his life.

"Max lent me another component, and this is absolutely BETTER!" Joseph smiled proudly at the gleaming black thing in his hand.

Kai felt his hopes rise once more. "Uh...if you don't mind me asking, what is it?"

Joseph was staring at it intently. "What? Oh...it's what we call a VIDEO CAMERA."

"And then he started doing this..." Ray swayed his hips suggestively as the others laughed and drank their sake. Everyone, with the exception of Joseph and Kai, were already drunk. Kai drank a few, but was determined to stay sober, as was Joseph.

Kai was blushing a crimson red, but he plunged on bravely with his plan. "Thanks for reminding them, Ray," he told the other boy dryly.

"No prob!" Ray grinned, accidentally splattering a few drops of sake on him.

Kai wiped them away then suggested, "Why don't you do the whole thing on a different song?"

Ray frowned. "Are you comin' on to me?" he slurred.

Ozuma was laughing hard. "Why not, Ray! C'mon, we know you're a good dancer."

"Yeah," Johnny yelled out, his face flushed. "After all the demonstrations—"

"Yeah, yeah!" Tala shouted, gulping down another bottle of sake.

Ray was pleased to receive many comments and suggestions. He stood. "'Course I can do it," he bragged. "I'll do it...I jus'n heard this gaijin song that has a cooool tune! I donwanna use da 'I'm Ta Sezzzy'...K-chan already used it."

Kai winced at the nickname, but went on, "So, go ahead!" He turned to Joseph, who, in turn, gave him a thumbs-up sign.

Joseph checked to see if the tape was on right as Ray stood up, then took a deep breath and pressed the record button.

"What's this for?" Kenny gasped when he realized that the room was full of everyone he knew.

"A showing session," Joseph said politely. "Please sit down."

Ray crossed his arms and legs. "This had better be good," he growled. "I still have a headache from the other day's drinking session."

Max shrugged. "Joseph and Kai just told us that they have something to show us."

Kenny squeezed in between Tyson and Max. Robert's castle was full of people. Joseph and Kai had mysteriously sent almost everyone they knew invitations to watch a short-length film.

Kenny, Tyson, Max, Oliver, Mariam, Emily, Kane, Salima, all the bladers they knew, even Sanquinex and Daichi came! Although Sanquinex was itching to go back to his domain, and Daichi was sitting in the shadows.

"Let's get this over with," Robert said impatiently. "This IS short, right? It must be worth it." he glared at Joseph.

"Oh, we assure you, it's worth it," Joseph told him, grinning at Kai.

Robert shrugged, "Oh, well...I trust you." he held up the remote and pressed play.

From the TV screens flashed the face of Joseph. "A video of a sake-session between the boys...with an addition of the video 'As Long As You Love Me' by some American people who we don't care about. No offense to the Americans watching. " He disappeared, and out came a roaring fire and some drunken men.

And a dancing Ray.

"Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine..." Ray in the TV was slowly taking off his black pants he wore under his tunic.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

By the time Ray was singing, "I've tried to hide it so that no one knows, but I guess it shows, when you look into my eyes...", he was wearing only his undergarments, dancing around the fire. By the next line, he was ready to take it off.

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" Ray was screaming, hiding his face in his hands.

"Ray!" Max drooled. "I never quite noticed before!"

"Oi, you're embarrassing some guys, too!" Lee called out.

Tala and Black Dranzer(In human form), were happily eating some popcorn, glared at Lee. "SSH!" they exclaimed. "Some of us are watching," Black added, popping in another handful of kernels in his mouth.

"What you did and where you're comin' frooooomm," Ray on-screen sang, whirling his hips around, "I don't caaaarrre...as long as you love me beibeeeee..."

Mariah, Emily, and Max squealed in delight as the final piece of clothing was removed and Ray was dancing, showing off. Lupinex was laughing his head off while Sanquinex was yelling, "What a STUPID thing to do!" Daichi had come out of his corner and was watching, a hint of smile on his face. Kane tried to hide his smile, but he couldn't. Even Robert was grinning along with Tyson.

Finally, the song ended with Ray on-screen dropping on his knees in front of the camera, singing the last line, "As long as you love meeee..." He was sweaty and breathing hard, and obviously majorly drunk. His grin was cocky and his face was still flushed.

"YAAAHHH!" Mariah, Emily, and Max screamed . "WE WANT A COPY!"

"I'm ruined!" Ray moaned, still not watching.

Joseph grinned. "I'm making it a business!" he announced.

Everyone laughed.

Robert neared him, raising one eyebrow. "I must admit, you quite surprised me, kid."

"How did I get into this!" Ray asked himself, near to tears.

Kenny patted his shoulder. "Why don't you ask the leader of the crime?" He pointed at Kai, who was grinning.

Ray glared at him. "YOU!" he screamed. "It was you all along! You plotted this out you—you—"

"What?"

"I'll get you," Ray promised.

"Yeah, right!" Kai snorted. "If you do, Joseph'll make hundreds of copies of the tape and send 'em to every part of the world!"

Ray moaned again and pounded the sofa. "Why me!"

"Because you kept teasing Kai about those 'I'm Too Sexy' pictures," Joseph told him, shouting above the noise.

Silence.

Then, Mariah, Emily, and Max yelled out, "There are pictures of Kai STRIPPING!"

"AAAAGGGH!" Kai dropped onto his knees.

Tyson pounced on him. "What the hell were you doing!" he demanded.

"Hey," Robert told them, grinning, "when you have another sake-session, remember to ask me along, ne? They're pretty interesting."

Ray and Kai were crying when they got home, but it was hard to know whom was crying the hardest.

The End


End file.
